1. |
Start The Presses
04:09
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down the steps to the basement
slice of pizza for my mouth
say hello to the boys in news
ME wants my thirds on her desk by 10
I'll do my best
but I'll probably be here 'til 2
walk past the morgue up to my desk
which is also the break room
I've been charged with a task
I'm in charge of a page
gotta make that Sudoku
check my inbox
weed through the crap
grab another slice of pizza
in time to layout my page
I'm responsible for this thing
50,000 college kids waiting for
their comics today
I'm a newsman's son
paper's in my blood
sucking life from fluorescent bulbs
work 10 hours a day
for 20 dollars in pay
but no one minds that we work for crumbs
start the presses
Inks and Keck making out on the sofa
Scotty in the loading dock talking and smoking
I remember the days when people
held it in their hands
turn the page tuck it under the arm
take it with on a bus ride
it's not electric or compact
but it's never without its charm
line a parrot cage
make a pirate hat
throw it out when you've read it
it's a thankless job
in a trench coat and hat
from the notes the the edit
spilled my coffee but it's OK
got another cup of Joe
and a Red Bull in waiting for this
time to script-set and check the negatives
my page is done
print is dead when we say it is
walk up the stairs
to the empty box
tomorrow we'll have people talking
soon the trucks will go out
and fill the box with fresh ink
like a square Christmas stocking
start the presses
Richard and Tim making sure we do our work
Flannery thumbing through her AP style book
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2. |
Anhedonia
03:32
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I’ve got good news
You should feel pretty good about this news
You should smile and maybe jump right out of your shoes
Because this news involves your blues
And how you used to never feel anything
And how a puppy riding on a larger dog would bring
The joy of a bowl of warm ice cream
I know you’ve felt
Like a mannequin or a fake blow-up doll
And that sex makes you feel absolutely nothing at all
Well that’s a wall that’s gonna fall
Because you don’t have anhedonia anymore!
There was some something wrong ya
Ya weren’t just bored ya weren’t just bored
I guess that’s nice
Yeah that kind of sounds like big exciting news
But if you don’t mind I think I’ll stay inside my shoes
Because this news makes me confused
I mean if I am cured just like you said
And that I no longer have to feel like I am dead
Then why’s my pleasure in the red?
I feel the same
As I did the day I told you that I felt
Like the things I like began to feel like something else
Like being in a special Hell
…But wait, you don’t have anhedonia anymore!
I’m not wrong I’m not wrong ya
Ya just bored ya just bored
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3. |
He Never Reappeared
04:03
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My little teeth wanted out so bad that they all jumped right out of my head and
My little hands flapped so hard that they flew away now I can't play the keyboard
My little heart beat itself to death all that's left is the hole where it used to be
All of my skin melted off my bones now I look like a Halloween costume
He was a solid guy
but now he drifts like a vapor in and out of the empty sky
we all thought he was here he was a man for a minute but then he disappeared
all of my hair got the feeling they'd be better off somewhere other than on my head
each of my bones sublimated and all of the meat fell right off of my body
both of my lungs filled with helium now they're some of the parts that I don't have
my little feet tapped so much that when they were done they were nothing but piles of dust
he was a solid guy
but now floats like a ghost and the rest of us can't say why
we all thought he was here he was a man for a minute but then he disappeared
and he never reappeared
he was gone.
he was a solid guy
but now he's gone and the cartons have his picture right on the side
we all thought he was here he was a man for a minute but then he disappeared
he was a solid guy
we were away for a while but now we're back and he's out of sight
we all thought he was here he was a man for a minute but then he disappeared
It's possible that the devil snatched his from his bed and took him out for some Chinese food
or maybe there was a cat and it sat on his chest and sucked the life out
he was a solid guy
but now he drifts like a vapor in and out of the empty sky
we all thought he was here he was a man for a minute but then he disappeared
and he never reappeared
he was gone.
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4. |
Button's Raven Gloss
02:53
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Button’s Raven Gloss is always made from real ravens
And you put it on your shoes to impress the lovely maidens
And the maidens use it too to impress the handsome dudes
Anybody who wears shoes knows that that’s the thing to do
Edward Button is the man who knows how to catch the birds
He invites them to a meal and then he woos them with kind words
Then the ravens follow him to his modest gloss shop
Where he cuts off all their heads with a single skillful chop
He puts the feathers in a mortar and he grinds them into soot
Then he takes the raven body and he holds it by the foot
Then he squeezes out the gloss (which is not an easy chore)
And he even sells the heads on necklaces inside his store
Now when all of that is finished, Dr. Button takes a rake
And he stirs the feather dust and gloss into a shiny paste
Then he takes a tiny dropper and he fills up every bottle
Then he puts a label on it and he tops it with a stopper
Then he washes his hands and his shop opens at nine
And by ten AM the people in the town all form a line
And they hand over their money like it means nothing to them
And then every night the doctor does it all over again
Mrs. Shropshire’s a reporter with an exposé to file
Yeah she’s working on a story but it’s taking her a while
Because no one that she talks to will cooperate or hint
At the truth behind the shoe gloss or where all the ravens went
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5. |
Salinger's Party
04:05
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The mood on the terrace of Salinger’s secret address
is that of a cat alone on top a fence
or that of a nocturne played for no audience
One month ago I received an invitation in the mail, I RVSPed
A town car came for me
Was it necessary to earmuff and blindfold me?
So back to where I am
Alone with my thoughts and a cigarette in my hand
An hour’s passed
The other party guests should be arriving soon I would guess
(Except that they haven’t yet. Surely dozens of other invites were sent.
I was under the impression that this would be THE event of 1951)
My mouth feels like I ate a bucket of hot garbage
What’s a guy gotta do to get a drink in JD’s mansion of shadows?
The stupid chairs in the rooms are my only company
This place should be cramped with the cream of society.
Another half hour’s gone. Nobody here but me with my tuxedo on.
We’re all here at Salinger’s party
And by we I mean me, because if “we”, then where are they?
I know he loves his privacy but this seems like a joke to me
This lousy ghost town house
Limo loads of missing guests and one absentee host
I think it’s obvious that Salinger either lied or his guests missed the bus
Goddam you JD, I bought your sophomoric book
just so I could make lame smalltalk
That’s it, I’m outta here
And I’m stealing his silverware as a dumb souvenir
Beyond the house’s gates
I look for the town car that brought me here and I wait
for someone, anyone, to see that I’m ready to leave
and to drive me home
Now where could the driver be?
Probably hiding and laughing and watching me
I have no clue where I am
Now I have to walk back to where I live if I can
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6. |
Bruce McCall
05:28
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I've never met the man personally
but my professor in art school said she met him once at a thing
How can somebody be seen universally
but fly under the radar when I drop his name on my friends
I can imagine him there in his studio
surrounded by zeppelins cars and unsinkable boats
Washing a brush he will turn and look down at the street
see the bright yellow taxis, the red of a street vendor's rose
That I've seen a lot doesn't mean anything
there are so many that I've never seen
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
I went to his residence on the upper west side
to witness the urban absurdist at work in his home
He wasn't there but I knew that he wouldn't mind
if I broke in and smelled all his furniture and ate from his stove
Doing this lifted my spirits in ways that I cannot describe
And at once the ideas began to flood into my mind
Soon I'd amassed a collection of canvases
Each a perfect realistic depiction of a witty punchline
But there's still this one thing I need to know
after he signs the thing where does it go?
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
people say illustration is a lesser form of art
I think that people have the horse behind the cart
how can a giant pink heel be a luxury
condominium? that's not a question he asks of himself
how can a fluttering leaf be a parking ticket?
the same way that a castaway separates paper from glass
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
People say illustration is a lesser form of art
I say people are stupid
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
where does he put them all
where does he put them all
Bruce McCall
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7. |
Inferior Wilderness
03:55
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Somewhere there’s a trail
And somewhere there are woods
That someone ill equipped
Erected awfully quick
With stink root, caulibroccoli
Pine trees with giant cones
That stick to whatever
They land on then explode
Burn it down baby now start it again now
Burn it down baby now begin it again now
Cacti skunkamanders
Cacti hairless bears
Cacti ancient sinkholes
Cacti everywhere
Pointy boulders rolling
With great difficulty
Purple underbrush
With purple poison berries
Burn it down baby now start it again now
Burn it down baby now begin it again now
Somewhere there’s a trail
And somewhere there’s a tree
That someone made with jagged
Broken glassy branches
In this inferior wilderness
You have to cling to anything
That’s not made out of snakes
Burn it down baby now start it again now
Burn it down baby now begin it again now
Let’s you and me pack a lunch
And head down to the trail
That’s lined with body parts
And bloody clothing
Babe if I were to go missing
While we’re in there
I hope that you never get
Another boyfriend
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8. |
Montauk
03:01
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we drove down to the end of the world and we walked for a while in the purple sand
we were told that it would be cold, that our gloves would be worthless to warm our hands
we were inspired to make the long drive after seeing a painting of who lived there
big and small, they were feathered and all of them diving for fish in the frozen air
how did they do it? how did they leave everything behind and inch through the night?
could I say to myself that I'd do the same thing? hitch a ride through the fog and the ice
we looked high and low for a soul, there was no one around to be seen for miles
but there in the drift lay a silhouette stiff as a board. it had been there for quite some time.
one dead seal is your host in Montauk. Montauk is a ghost.
one cold coast is at most an odd landmark. Montauk is a ghost.
past the living postcards past the people inside them at work and warm
past the big duck and the woman inside reading tabloid trash wating to go home
A lighthouse sits at the end of the world looking down at the restaurant and wondering why
no one's around except for me and my friend in this place where ice cream falls from the sky
we will live here we will fashion a house out of timber and stone
we will put up a sign that reads "we are happy now leave us alone"
we were far away from the car as the sun started drowning itself in the brine
and there in the drift was that figure still stiff as a board. it was watching us the whole time
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9. |
Hydroxyzine
04:07
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X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
Cutest little pill I’ve ever seen
Not afraid to go to bed not afraid of anything
Somnus
X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
You’re the only one I really need
That’s not true I need all thirteen
Somnus
X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
What once was hell now’s a dream
Take it for yourself and see what I mean
Somnus
X-Y-Z
X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
Laying on my bed and staring blankly
Beats wanting to strangle everybody I see
Somnus
X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
One does the trick don’t need to take three
Not afraid to talk to people not afraid of anything
Somnus
X-Y-Z Hydroxyzine
Cutest little pill I’ve ever seen
Not a wolf in a cage or a ghost in a sheet
Somnus
X-Y-Z
Somnus
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10. |
I Love New York
05:00
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I've never lived here but I've always been here
like the guy in the black and white picture
at the end of the movie it turned out he'd been there
his whole life but he'd never lived there
except for the once and it didn't work out right
He died outside, had a fight with his wife
and he ran all around in the maze of the mind
of the ghost of the love that was trapped in his heart
And speaking of love there's a heart on my sleeve
not the sleeve but the front of this white t-shirt
not a shirt but a mug not a mug but a glove
not a glove but a No. 2 pencil
When it's sharp and I hold it straight up on the desk
it's a relative I know from pictures
But a picture's enough to rekindle the love
Like a sister you see just at Christmas
And the people who aren't from here wish that they were
And the people who are know they're smarter
than the people who dream of New York cuz they know
that the grass isn't greener it's harder
And it grows to incredible heights and it turns
into metal and glass and burnt coffee
And the light from the sun is that guy from the maze
with the axe trying to hack through the city
They thought that they knew us
Well how could they know us?
They read in the shape of a cloud we'd been bad
So they blew into town and they took souvenirs
from a place that I had never seen though I had
But instead of a snow globe they took the whole thing
leaving only the snow and a hole in the globe
By the time that I got there I got there too late
to do anything
even say that I'd been there.
I love New York
I love New York
I love New York
It's written on my shirt.
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United Shapes Austin, Texas
United Shapes are an alternative pop/rock duo formed in 2004 in Austin, TX by Joseph Devens and Drew Cave. New studio album Confuseograph available 2/10/23 on Flim Flam Records.
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