Button’s Raven Gloss is always made from real ravens
And you put it on your shoes to impress the lovely maidens
And the maidens use it too to impress the handsome dudes
Anybody who wears shoes knows that that’s the thing to do

Edward Button is the man who knows how to catch the birds
He invites them to a meal and then he woos them with kind words
Then the ravens follow him to his modest gloss shop
Where he cuts off all their heads with a single skillful chop

He puts the feathers in a mortar and he grinds them into soot
Then he takes the raven body and he holds it by the foot
Then he squeezes out the gloss (which is not an easy chore)
And he even sells the heads on necklaces inside his store

Now when all of that is finished, Dr. Button takes a rake
And he stirs the feather dust and gloss into a shiny paste
Then he takes a tiny dropper and he fills up every bottle
Then he puts a label on it and he tops it with a stopper

Then he washes his hands and his shop opens at nine
And by ten AM the people in the town all form a line
And they hand over their money like it means nothing to them
And then every night the doctor does it all over again

Mrs. Shropshire’s a reporter with an exposé to file
Yeah she’s working on a story but it’s taking her a while
Because no one that she talks to will cooperate or hint
At the truth behind the shoe gloss or where all the ravens went