Terrible Two

by United Shapes

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about

Terrible Two is United Shapes' sophomore album and False Point's evil twin. Featuring songs about black magic, dinosaurs, sleep deprivation, suicide girls, sneaking into buildings, lost love, broken bones, the fossil record, and Dante.

credits

released October 31, 2007

Drew Cave - guitar, trombone, drums, vocals
Joseph Devens - keyboard, guitar, drums, synths, vocals
Written by Devens-Cave
Produced by United Shapes

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about

United Shapes Austin, Texas

United Shapes are an alt rock duo formed in 2004 by Joseph Devens and Drew Cave. Help yourself to our handmade demos. They sound like garbage. Maybe you help us make them sound good and we all get paid?

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Track Name: Girl Problem
Some kind of liver chopped
Some kind of ice cream that you dropped
a number in your phone
some kind of bloody vulture bone

I feel for you I really do
my other feet are in your shoes
now I'm the girl you'd hoped I'd be
but when I talk you down you won't want me
I'm here to help I really am
but don't pretend I'm not a man

a eunuch in a burlap sack
some kind of virtue that you lack
I'm not your Dictaphone
I'm not the up that you will throw

how do you feel let's make a deal
you've got the boat the cash the wheels
and yet you chose door number three
I'm not at all surprised that you called me
I'm glad to help again I am
because I want to be your man
Track Name: Voodoo Doll
Undo the evil spell
That has me sweating in my sleep
Stop telling everyone
All of the secrets that I keep
Who drove the pins deep in
My little voodoo doll?
I know you are up to
Not any good at all
Hold my head to the flames
Make me remove my woolen cap
Twist my spine all around
Until you’ve made me a hunchback
Who drove the pins deep in
My little voodoo doll?
I know you are up to
Not any good at all
My skin of cloth and thread
The better to manipulate
The vice around my head
To squeeze my brains into a paste
Who drove the pins deep in
My little voodoo doll?
I know you are up to
Not any good at all
Tie my legs up in knots
So that I’m sitting Indian style
Then place me on the tracks
And make me wait there for a while
Who drove the pins deep in
My little voodoo doll?
I know you are up to
Not any good at all
Finally bury me
Under the flowers in your bed
And leave me there for weeks
Until my friends all think I’m dead
Who drove the pins deep in
My little voodoo doll?
I know you are up to
Not any good at all
Track Name: Perpetual Headache
Iron your ‘xedo and hop into bed
When you hope for the hopeless
At least look your best
And get some sleep if you can
Get some sleep if you can

Suitable sleepwear
They can’t make enough
To convince me I’m dreaming
In a sarcophagus
And get some sleep if you can
Get some sleep if you can

You’d like to think I’ve lost sleep over you
And I’d like to say I haven’t
Sticky bed sheet
Spider web feet
Upstairs downstairs with his nightgown on

Perpetual headache
I stay up late
Perpetual headache

There’s an orchestra playing Moonglow by request
For the fiftieth time and I have to object
So I can sleep if I can
So I can sleep if I can

One for the money two for the show
I’m a scheduled implosion
And God only knows
If I’ll sleep ever again
If I’ll sleep ever again

Outside the window there’s a belt
That’s holding up the pants of
One of everybody’s favorites
Connect the dots just like the ancients did

Clapping my hands and stomping my feet
I’m a big stupid baby with sharp little teeth
Screaming “sleep if you can!”
Screaming “sleep if you can!”

Tonight I’m seeing stars and I think
This time I’ve gone and done it
Throbbing head
Ants in the bed
Counting down 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Track Name: Can't Can't Can't
No one should have to be
A stranger in their own skin
Nor play the walk-on role
In lives their friends are starring in
This is a human game, so first make sure that you are one of those

People are made for people
I did not make the rules
Some people fit together like puzzle pieces
And some have to use
Blunt instruments to fly into a temporary fit
And I can't can't can't get used to it

These hands are lion's hands
And I've got a lion's tail
And I'm walkin all around
Inside my padded lion cell
And wouldn't it be nice to pick the kids up from their mom's and bring em here
On this fine afternoon?
See me walk all around
Take pleasure in my presence
Delight in this rare treat you found
But when you leave I'm still a lion walking all around
And I can't can't can't get used to it

If I fell in my apartment
Would it even make a sound?
Would I hear the upstairs neighbor
Shout that I should keep the noise down?
This is a lion thing, so don't come round or you could lose your head

And that's not something that comes back
No matter how you try it
Cause no mind that gets out of its head
Would come back in its right it
And things that never happen never ever will because they
Can't can't can't
Track Name: Muddy Wendy
Muddy Wendy
Once a Bottlecappa Kappa Pi
I was underwhelmed
Until I saw her with her guy friend

Eating fudge from the jar like she was starving
Making out in her car while she was driving
I was underwhelmed
Til I had her for myself

Muddy Wendy gets clean before she
Goes to bed in the evening, but
Wendy gets muddy in between getting clean
And going to bed in the e-vuh-ning

Wendy grabbing my arm
Dragging me to every show
Wendy double shot of whiskey
Me a cup o' joe

With the Hindenburg tattooed on her lower back
And some kind of steam punk motif above her rack
Every time her bell rings
An angel gets a nosebleed

Muddy Wendy gets clean before she
Goes to bed in the evening, but
Wendy gets muddy in between getting clean
And going to bed in the e-vuh-ning

Wendy gets around
And around
And around

W the wondering
If she likes me at all
E-N-D the ending
That her Xs all foretold of

Y the question I ask when I look back on you
? cuz it amplifies the W
I was overwhelmed
Til I lost her for myself

Muddy Wendy gets clean before she
Goes to bed in the evening, but
Wendy gets muddy in between getting clean
And going to bed in the e-vuh-ning
Track Name: Pokin' Around
in moments of doubt
pick a direction
heels to the ground
the lights at the top are still on

don’t put off today
what you can do until tomorrow
turn off your screens
the lights at the top are still on

on top of the world
for ten or fifteen
until you were caught
and then asked to leave

With a coat like a ticket
walk in like the owner
head back to the lift
go up to where the lights are still on

you have no ID
and youre not on the short list
so keep your eyes to the ground
the lights in this room are still on
Track Name: Dig For Home
Who put my footprints
In the stone?
Where did I come from?
Where did I go?

Who put the armor
On my spine?
I read your diary
It reads like mine

Three cheers for the hideous display!
A monument to formal decay!
In a layer of night and a layer of day
They'll have a weird new word for us to say

Who built the off-ramp
Over my grave?
I bought a road map
At the Stop-N-Sav

The ground is loose here
Where the antelope play
We're digging for home now
And I know the way

Uh, hey

Three cheers for the hideous display!
A monument to formal decay!
In a layer of night and a layer of day
They'll have a weird new word for us to say
Track Name: Dinosaur
Not so many years ago
People spun in circles
Slowly turning as if inside antique music boxes
Or in space
Spiders hanging from the walls
Watched as all the stupid humans called
Each other on their telephones to brag about their
This-n-thats

But several million years before
You and I were dinosaurs
Earthquake makers on some fire belching blemish
Hung in space
Glorious beasts with lofty dreams of
Spilling blood and infinite supremacy
Erased with white correction tape by chimps
In ties-n-hats

The dinosaur was god
Until the big cosmic surprise
That sent firestorms from heaven
And from hell, free enterprise

But the dinosaur came back, yeah
The dinosaur came back, yeah
The dinosaur came back to claim his prize.

Now there's dinosaurs in fleets
Above your homes and in your streets
Stalking children in the park,
Taking bread from the elderly

And a dinosaur won't quit, no
A dinosaur won't quit, no
A dinosaur won't quit until he flies away from here for good.

So wear your hats and spill your blood
And stomp around all day
Keep your loveless legislation
Advertise your wicked ways

But make sure you're fiscally fit
Because again the fuse is lit
And when you go, a dinosaur will rise out yer ashes.
Track Name: Baby's Arms
Don't break my baby's arms
I need those lovin' arms
to hold me up to make me speak
when I fall off her knee and the audience starts to leave

Like a fish crawling out of the sea
and hiding from the maker under fingery trees
I'll know my role inherently
when my baby's arms are wrapped around me

Don't break my baby's arms
and also spare the heart that
pumps the blood into the lungs
that flood and bloom like we did when we were young

Like a fish crawling out of the waves
and trading in its scales for a trim and a shave
I'll blow the role I was to play
when I'm in my baby's arms all day

I forgive her for the time she tried to get inside my head
and she told all of her friends she thought my career was dead
I called her "baby"
but I haven't lately

And I forgive her for the time that she fed me all her beer
and then I said things that neither of us ever need to hear
She called me "baby"
but she hasn't lately

Don't break my baby's arms
and also spare the heart
that spoils the child that I can be
when I throw up my hands at the idiots on TV

Drag me screaming back to the sea
My baby's are the arms that are anchors on me
But I'd rather sink than see those waves
take me from my baby's arms today.
Track Name: Hollow Melody
Shut me up tight inside my room
Take my belt and shoelaces from me
Hear the plumbing inside the walls singing
their hollow melody

Seat belt is securely fastened now
Stewardess one more drink for me
Turn the knob and hear the stuffy air sing
its hollow melody

I used to remember everything
I had names for all her teeth
I'm trying to recall our song but
all I hear is a hollow melody

Waiting for the ransom to arrive
underneath the flood lights in the street
It seems they're trying to tell me something
but all I hear is a hollow melody

As far away as my poor feet could run
Making my new home inside a tree
The wind is breathing through the leaves and
it sounds to me like a hollow melody

I used to remember everything
Now that tandem bike's for sale
I'm trying to recall our song but
All I hear is a hollow melody

First it was innocuous
Then it was mysterious
Now it's ubiquitous
and it's all I know

Everybody shouting everything
Pious people spitting when they speak
Now your tongue's in a sling and
you sound to me like a hollow melody

Fighting words, pull quotes, punditry
Black and white and red all over me
Can't believe a single thing
cause you sound to me like a hollow melody
Track Name: Your Life In Hell
I am a shell of my former self
I am a shell of my former shell
I am the ghost of the husk that I was yesterday
I am that man in the photograph
reading his own epitaph
I never know if I'm dead or doin' OK

You can sleep for days and hide yourself from the scene
You can smoke a J with Socrates if that's your thing
If you want to speak with management just ring the bell
Enjoy your life in Hell!

I was a hat in a former life
I would go back at the drop of me
and see the world from a salesman's head again
But now I'm here wedged between these rocks
feelin' the flames lick my thermal socks
and a three-headed dog brings the paper in everyday

People with their noise and lights might really scare you
but you can talk on couches you can scream your prayers you
can take as many pills it takes to make you feel well
Enjoy your life in Hell!

I was in love with a brown-haired girl
I sent her poems from the underworld
with little hearts where the dots of the "i"s should be
I played her voice in my brain like a song from a tape
I'd make my hands feel her hands feel her face on my face
She's real for sure but before she was more real to me

You can think of Sarah but you can't embrace her
You can scrub your memories of her with a pink eraser
You can disinfect your life of all the love that you felt
Enjoy your life in Hell!

Third circle
Second circle
Outer circle
Your floor, sir.

So now I'm back in my bed asleep
Feelin' the drugs in my brain at work
And when I wake she'll be sleeping there next to me

You might take forever
You might bide your time
And you might write the memoirs of your crowded mind
You might sing the blues forever - only time will tell
So enjoy your life in Hell
Yes, enjoy your life in Hell!
You better enjoy your life