Everybody waved goodbye as the ship set out to sea Their tickets said “Christmas Eve” And in their dreams, they dreamed of palm trees Sandy beaches and daiquiris Instead of Christmas trees Some of them had quit their jobs to be there on that night but everyone was happy and they sipped on sparkling wine That’s right The passengers were eager to be dropped off at any spot Where they could spend their Christmas hot The captain set a course for the very bottom of the globe Because everybody knows If the pole on top is cold, the bottom pole must be its opposite Their logic was astounding It’d be a beach they were sure of it Christmas at the south pole wasn’t what they thought it would be It looked just like the north pole, disappointingly, except for one or two things Missing at the south pole were the handmade coconut drinks They quickly gleaned it’s not a beach and It’s not quite the island that everyone thinks No visions of surfing and tropical drinks No girls in bikinis or dudes with rad ink Just snow It’s Christmas at the south pole Everybody gather ‘round And listen to the orca sounds You are surrounded by our penguins You are barked at by our seals Feel how good our Christmas feels If you thought there would be volleyball and snorkeling you’re wrong You clearly thought there would be but the wait for those is long Christmas at the south pole wasn’t what they thought it would be It looked just like the north pole, disappointingly, except for one or two things Missing at the south pole were the handmade coconut drinks They quickly gleaned it’s not a beach and It’s not quite the island that everyone thinks They were out of their minds when they had the idea But they had a good time and their cocktails were free